or

How Horatio Helped His Home

SETTING

Around a pond which is in a wood, far from any human thing; morning.

CHARACTERS

Weasel                                                             lowdown, dirty, rotten, oily dude

Papa Platypus                                               hen pecked, slow, whining, a trifle dim

Ernest Franklin Migillicutty III                      a stately old owl

Mrs. Tortuga                                                    mother turtle and school marm

Softshell                                                            her daughter a tie-died naturalist

Mrs. Shrew                                                       a small, gossiping trouble maker

Mr. McBeaver                                                a hard dam working Scotsman

Mrs. Patty Duck                                              the new mother, a bit of a ding-a-ling

Mamma Platypus                                         beautiful on the outside – ugly on the inside

                           Baby Ducklings:

Darling                                                             academician, teacher’s pet

Starling                                                             gifted artist, theatrical

Farling                                                              talented at sports, competitor

Ralph                                                                looking for his talent in life

Production Notes

The set’s focus is the duck nest, possibly just Left of Center.  It is made of hay and some sticks, raised a few feet.  Up Right, the dam stretches off stage.  A painted background of trees, cattails and the pond itself would be a nice compliment behind. 

Have fun with the costumes!  They, and the makeup, are an integral part of each character.  The more detailed, the better!  Older students may simply want to wear colors that suggest their character.

Mrs. Shrew and Mamma Platypus should be played by the same person.

An excerpt from Ugly Ducklings

by Roger Iverson

Copyright ©  2000

EARNEST

Beauty comes to who-whoever fulfills their potential.  Our talents make us beautiful.  Now, being embarrassed of your brother, forcing him to wear yellow feathers, gossiping about him at school…  Did all of that fulfill your potential as loving brothers, or did you fall a bit short on that one?

FARLING, STARLING and DARLING

…It was ugly of us…

EARNEST

And on the first try!  There’s hope for you yet, my little yellow friends.  Remember:  Beauty is not something you see.  Beauty is something you ARE.  Now then, do you know your brother to be sweet and sensitive or hateful and mean? 

FARLING

Well…

EARNEST

Of course there is not a mean bone in his body which logically leads us to the theory that he must be beautiful!

DARLING, STARLING and FARLING

But look at him!

EARNEST

He does.

Well, it’s only a theory, mind you.

DARLING

I suppose you’re right, Mr Migillicutty.  If you squint your eyes just so, Ralph isn’t quite so ugly.

FARLING

Hey, dude!  I see what you mean!

EARNEST

Yes.  Well, you boys keep working on that.  Patricia, I leave your children wrapped in your capable wings, may the creator preserve us…

PATTY

Thank you, Earnest! 

EARNEST

Not to worry, my good lady. (He exits.)

PATTY

You were embarrassed of your brother?  He’s the sweetest creature around and that wasn’t good enough for you.  I’m disappointed in you three boys.

STARLING

My lament wracks me to my very bones!

FARLING

Yeah…  Sorry, Ralph.  It wasn’t too cool of us.  Unhyper!

PATTY

To DARLING

Well?…

DARLING

…Sorry, Ralph.  I was being selfish and inconsiderate.  Can we still be friends?

RALPH

We always have been, and we always will be…  Brother.

PATTY

Why don’t the rest of you go work on your swimming while I have a little talk with your brother or sister or whatever it may be.  (DARLING, FARLING and STARLING exit.)   Beauty is only feather deep, Ralph.

RALPH

But what if you don’t have any feathers?

PATTY

Oh, everyone has feath…  What I mean is…  Well, let’s find what you do have.  Come here and sit down with me, Ralph.  Tell me about your first day at school.  What did you learn today, Ralph?

RALPH

Nothing.

PATTY

Nothing!  Did you try out for the soccer team like Farling?

RALPH

Yeah, but Coach McBeaver said I should wait for hockey season to begin.

PATTY

I didn’t know the school has a hockey team…

RALPH

We don’t.

PATTY

Oh, I see…  Did you audition for the school play?

RALPH

Yes…  But I was so nervous in front of everyone that I couldn’t even say my lines.  Mr. Migillicutty only had one word to say.

PATTY

What was that one word?

RALLPH

“Next!”

PATTY

Well, what about class, Ralph?  How did you do in Mrs. Tortuga’s classroom?

RALPH

That’s the worst of all, Mom.  I didn’t learn how to read today!  I really thought I was going to learn how to read, but I DIDN’T!  I don’t know, Mom.  I’m just not good at anything!  I want to fit in using my own abilities.  I want to help our neighbors, to be needed in Our Pond, to use my talents but…  I just don’t have any talents to give!  How can I take part in the life around me when I have nothing to offer?

PATTY

You have a lot to offer, Ralph.  So what if you can’t do what your brothers do.  So what!  Do what Ralph does best.  Let your own, unique talents make you beautiful.

RALPH

A talent makes you beautiful?

PATTY

I have known many creatures who have forgotten their gifts as they grew old.  They feel trapped in a sad and stale life.  That can be very ugly…

RALPH

Like Weasel?

PATTY

What?  Oh.  Yes…  Just like Weasel, I suppose…

RALPH

Has he forgotten who he is?

PATTY

Maybe, I don’t know.  When he was younger he had such a cute mischievous twinkle in his eye.  But that glint is gone.  Now he’s just plain old mean. 

RALPH

That’s what makes him ugly, isn’t it?  His meanness, I mean.

PATTY

By that you mean?

RALPH

I mean, by all means,  his mean, or average, way of acting is mainly mean which I don’t think is very meaningful.

PATTY

To the audience.

About RALPH

He means well.

RALPH

Mr. Migillicutty said, “We don’t show our beauty by the color of feathers we wear.  We show it by the thoughts we have which lead to the things we do.  Our invisible thoughts lead to visible actions.”  And it’s those actions that are beautiful or ugly, right?

PATTY

I guess so…?

RALPH

Well don’t you see, mother?  Weasel does ugly things because of the ugly feelings he has inside, like feeling lonely, despised, neglected…  Feeling like an outcast.  No wonder he’s a Meat Muncher.  He’s caught in a terrible cycle!  The expectations we put on Weasel trap him into playing out the role of victimizer!

PATTY

Or he could just be playing out the role of a weasel.

RALPH

All he needs is a friend, I’m convinced of it!

PATTY

Enough about Weasel.  If our heart really does make us beautiful, then you are the most beautiful creature around, Ralph.  All you need is to always hold your talents dearly, Ralph. 

RALPH

When I find them I will, mother.

PATTY

But until then, sweetheart, listen.  Just listen for The Voice.  Someday you’ll hear The Voice speak directly to you…

McBEAVER

From off stage Right, near the dam

Helllp!!

 RALPH and PATTY stop, slowly turn and look at each other during a long pause.

RALPH

Slowly…

…Mom  …Did you hear that?…

McBEAVER

Still off stage

Is there no one to help me, then?  The dam!  She’s breaking up, Cap’n!  I can doo no more!  Is there no other creature with a sturdy beaver tail to help me save Our Pond?!?

Slowly, RALPH stands, as he hears The Voice. 

RALPH

Like a trance

Is the voice supposed to sound like Mr. McBeaver?

PATTY

It’ll do!  But Ralph…  There might be danger!

RALPH

Danger, smanger!!

    The play continues…

Pricing

Copyright © 2006 Roger Iverson